Why I Don’t Seek Happiness

People tend to equate happiness with having a lot of money, a successful career, or finding that perfect mate. But happiness is just an emotional high. It is transient and exists only in relation to unhappiness, an emotional low. When you finally get what you’ve been chasing for all your life, you might feel a sense of happiness for a while. Then you find that you need to do even more to sustain the emotion.

For instance, you might feel you’re top of the world the day you earn your first million dollars. Then, slowly but surely, the feeling dies down and eventually gets replaced by a desire for even more– the money is still there, but the happiness is gone.

In the present moment everything becomes magical. You delight in the ordinary as reality unfolds and blossoms right before your eyes.

It is human nature to always push the boundaries. If you’re into academics, you’ll probably want to pursue a Ph.D. and write a few books. If you’re into money, you’ll want to be millionaire or even a billionaire. And so on and so forth. Be it money, career, or whatever, we chase it as a means to happiness.

But the endless pursuit of happiness is merely an act of craving, which in itself is a persistent source of unhappiness. You don’t become happy by doing what makes you unhappy.

Does this mean one shouldn’t even pursue happiness, as it’s just a transient and elusive emotion?

Certainly not. I think that as long as we can train our minds to be happy in the pursuit rather than the goal, then even chasing happiness can become a worthwhile endeavor. The key is to shift focus from the goal to the process.

I don’t seek happiness anymore because the pursuit detracts from my ability to live in the present moment. I figured that I just did my best whatever the circumstances, I will get pleasantly surprised once in a while. These pleasant surprises are what constitute happiness for me. I think happiness should be just a by-product of doing the right thing, not its goal.

What I do seek is contentment. Unlike happiness, contentment is more subtle and lasting. Better yet, it can be here now, not out in some distant future and contingent on certain conditions and circumstances that may be out of my control. I can invoke contentment just by being mindful.

When you live in the present, you don’t need a big mansion or fancy car to feel happy or satisfied. In the present moment everything becomes magical. You delight in the ordinary as reality unfolds and blossoms right before your eyes. Indeed, contentment is true happiness.

The key is to shift focus from the goal to the process.